Does anyone’s desire meander in a straight line?
None of this goes in a straight line. Not our love. Not my need. Not how I think about all of you from the past, or who I have been before or who I am today.
None of this goes in a straight line.
Does anyone’s desire meander in a straight line? When we sit in the dark and diddle ourselves until we fall asleep do we start at the beginning and then end at yesterday? I can’t imagine that there is someone that walks a path that goes step by step by step through each significant moment from pre-puberty to today and puts a check mark next to each and calls it good.
But, hey, years ago I couldn’t imagine half the things I’ve seen.
I just know that I don’t go in a straight line. Sometimes I see the eyes of a clerk and I’m sixteen again looking into the eyes of a girl that helped me with English papers and wore ridiculously short skirts and had soft legs that brushed against me under the table. The next day someone’s voice will remind me of my first kiss. Not because they look or sound like the person I kissed, but like someone that was nearby.
I can’t be the only one with a jumble of thoughts like this, a head full of memories that swirl and curl and dance almost all the time as I walk through my day. I can’t be the only one with a head full of free association. There are too many people out there for that to be true.